Where I live

Where I live, temperature can reach up to 42c in the summer
Where I live, I can't wear a cute summer dress and take a walk down the street
Where I live, I can't walk to the market and back, I have to take my car
Where I live, I can't drive to a wedding in an evening gown unless I wear a shawl to cover up
Where I live, my body is not mine to do with as I please, it belongs to society and its norms
All the little things that seem so stupid to even complaign about, so small in comparison to today's real problems; but aren't those things are what make us who we are?
Being able to choose your career, your job, how you dress, what your hair looks like... These should not even be debatable.
When you make those trivial elements an everyday struggle, then how can a woman have time to think of other things in life.
When a woman wanted a certain career but could not have it yet is asked to work to provide, what shall she do? How will she be able to think of something else to do, how will she thrive?
When a woman spends more time in picking her outfit, yet still gets disapproved by society and hears the nastiest things said on the streets, how will she be happy, productive and focused for he rest of the day?
I just want to live somewhere where I can be myself, wear what I want, believe in what I want, go walking whenever I feel like it.
Seems stupid and trivial, but as I am sitting in my living room wanting to wear a dress and go for a walk but I can't, all I can feel is being trapped in my own skin.
I am trapped in my own imagination, wanting to spread my wings and fly.
Never take the small privilages in your life for granted no matter what they are....

Awakening

This is not for shaming at all and tgere are a few exceptions to the rule, but most Middle Eastern Men are babies and spoilt ones as well!
Men grow up for the sole purpose of working and making money, no more no less.
He can not cook, do laundry, clean, do dishes, care for children or any other household chore. And I do not blame him, I blame the parents who raised him.
Men in this part of the world grow up believing that they have a given right over women to not do anything at home other than eat, sleep, complain and have sex.
Women on the other hand grow up knowing how to do everything on their own. In my opinion that makes them stronger and more reliable than most men.
Sure there are exceptions, but in the overall population that unfortunately is not the case.
This is why it pains me that women have less rights and enjoy less freedom than men. It pains me that when a woman does not feel appreciated she automatically thinks that she must have done something wrong.
Women do not need empowerement, we are strong. Women need an awakening.

A Messy Rant

This is a rant, unfiltered and raw....
Emptiness of a soul is different than any other feeling of emptiness. You can have all what you ever dreamed of and yet your own sense of purpose can be incomplete.
Sitting alone most of the time at my house now has made me feel that the world is a lonely place. No one waits for you, life does go on, and you can either hop on or watch from the sidelines.
I want to work, not to please the judging eyes of silence the endless questions or even to make more money for that matter -even though financial independence is important- no, I want to work to achieve something for me, so I can feel like my life matters to the world. I hate the corporate life and its values and I live in a country that does not provide a whole lot of options or alternatives.
The feeling for me that I am walking towards the bubble headed housewife stereotype that has people -and even myself- judging is hurtful.
I can't see myself in five years, I have no real goals for a career and the best I can hope for is something that would happen to change that. But what could? Seems like in todays tech savvy world and virtual connections there is no real place for a dreamer like myself. I crave human and animal interaction, I crave real emotions but as an only child I am also more than capable of entertaining myself. Then people ask me what I do all day....
I wish I had the capability like so many women out there to just make my dreams a reality, to make what I see in my head manifest into something tangible.
My soul is not empty but I am surrounded by emptiness. My goals and my life are not conventional, they belong to a hippie that lives now in a world that has long forgotten the free spirits of the ancients.
Ah well, maybe some day....