This is a rant, unfiltered and raw....
Emptiness of a soul is different than any other feeling of emptiness. You can have all what you ever dreamed of and yet your own sense of purpose can be incomplete.
Sitting alone most of the time at my house now has made me feel that the world is a lonely place. No one waits for you, life does go on, and you can either hop on or watch from the sidelines.
I want to work, not to please the judging eyes of silence the endless questions or even to make more money for that matter -even though financial independence is important- no, I want to work to achieve something for me, so I can feel like my life matters to the world. I hate the corporate life and its values and I live in a country that does not provide a whole lot of options or alternatives.
The feeling for me that I am walking towards the bubble headed housewife stereotype that has people -and even myself- judging is hurtful.
I can't see myself in five years, I have no real goals for a career and the best I can hope for is something that would happen to change that. But what could? Seems like in todays tech savvy world and virtual connections there is no real place for a dreamer like myself. I crave human and animal interaction, I crave real emotions but as an only child I am also more than capable of entertaining myself. Then people ask me what I do all day....
I wish I had the capability like so many women out there to just make my dreams a reality, to make what I see in my head manifest into something tangible.
My soul is not empty but I am surrounded by emptiness. My goals and my life are not conventional, they belong to a hippie that lives now in a world that has long forgotten the free spirits of the ancients.
Ah well, maybe some day....
Emptiness of a soul is different than any other feeling of emptiness. You can have all what you ever dreamed of and yet your own sense of purpose can be incomplete.
Sitting alone most of the time at my house now has made me feel that the world is a lonely place. No one waits for you, life does go on, and you can either hop on or watch from the sidelines.
I want to work, not to please the judging eyes of silence the endless questions or even to make more money for that matter -even though financial independence is important- no, I want to work to achieve something for me, so I can feel like my life matters to the world. I hate the corporate life and its values and I live in a country that does not provide a whole lot of options or alternatives.
The feeling for me that I am walking towards the bubble headed housewife stereotype that has people -and even myself- judging is hurtful.
I can't see myself in five years, I have no real goals for a career and the best I can hope for is something that would happen to change that. But what could? Seems like in todays tech savvy world and virtual connections there is no real place for a dreamer like myself. I crave human and animal interaction, I crave real emotions but as an only child I am also more than capable of entertaining myself. Then people ask me what I do all day....
I wish I had the capability like so many women out there to just make my dreams a reality, to make what I see in my head manifest into something tangible.
My soul is not empty but I am surrounded by emptiness. My goals and my life are not conventional, they belong to a hippie that lives now in a world that has long forgotten the free spirits of the ancients.
Ah well, maybe some day....
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